Okay, a close friend of mine, Sam (who is a girl), has officially broken down and hidden away from the rest of the world. I know for a fact she "reassured" several of both of our friends a few days earlier that she would not break down. But the thing is that she did.
I guess i should start from the beginning. From the very beginning. Okay the first problem had been one ever since she was a baby. Her father. Her parents have never and will never officially be together. They were never married but they had her. And her father used -well, most likely still is- an alcholic. So with that she has seen many rather painful things. And 99.99% of that is in her past. If someone brings him up she can get emotional, or she keeps everything hidden and locked up inside. On to problem number two, she had been very close to a friend who in my own words, likes to wallow in self pity. And they both had a rather tight grip on each other. but she's cooping and moving on. Now, a lot of times she might act unfeeling about this person but the truth is, Sam couldn't hate her arch nemeses. She will care and love perfect strangers. But with that comes the third problem. The way that she cares about people is a double edged sword. It can help others so much, but at what cost? She is willing to sacrifice her life, her will, her freedom, if she could just see people smile, and laugh. She would do anything to have others happy. Even if it meant giving up her own happiness.
Now lets come to how it happened. She was on the phone, talking leisurely about things like Naruto and such. When they wandered onto some not so happy and relaxed topics. See, the thing with same is that she wants to make up for others mistakes. Her father would judge and hate a perfect stranger, for no reason. She wanted to be caring in ways that he couldn't be. Then, the friend, who likes to wallow in self pity, they had talked about Sam leaving the relationship. Sam described how the girl who wallows in self pity doesn't see how she affects people around her. How her problems, her "only choices" make others so frustrated. Thats when it started. Sam hates that she can care sooo much about other people. She hates that she allows perfect strangers to reach in and grab her heart. She hates the fact that no matter what she does that there are people who are out of her range to help. She hates it. But she, from a little girl wanted to care for people the way others can't. She wanted to help people that others would just ignore. She wants to stand up for people who don't yet know how to stand up for themselves.
Honestly, to me, she is like peoples knight in shining armor. She will fight and protect when ever she feels necessary. So at the end of their conversation, she cried. And just cried and cried till no more tears to come out. when that happened she hid away. She hid in the deepest darkest crevice she could find. So I need advice. How can I get her out of her hole?
And just so that you know, I am not putting them blame on the people I mentioned. that is just something that helped her armor crack more than needed. Please, comment here with your advice. We both need all the help we can get.
Sincerely yours,
Yuuka
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ohh... so this is what you were talking about in class today. It's true...she loves people too much and sacrifices too much for others that's more than good enough for her own health. Literally, just pull her out of the hole. Everything she says... just conter it with something else until she has nothing else left to say... after that... it's just going downhill. SHe's done lots and can do better but not with feelings like how she is now. Hey, Sam, don't get depressed. I will and Ama will as well... cheer up... there's many ways to help others but you need to think of yourself too even though it's not your top priority. Your selfless and that's a good point about you but it's also your weakness. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to help others?
ReplyDeleteI agree with amarante. You always come first, you can't make other people happy if you're not happy first. When you're happy, you can spread your happiness to other people... Yuuka, maybe you should try giving her a little time to herself, then you should pull her out, as amarante said.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for ur friend. She could just use some alone time to compose herself, then you come in. Everyone should be happy. And I can understand what she's going through kind of.
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