Copy and Paste

95% of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on an 100ft building about to jump. Copy and paste if you are one of those 5% who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "JUMP JUMP JUMP AND DIES BITCHES!!!!!"


I'm sorry if some people find this offensive. I don't really have anything against the Jonas Brothers but its true. I would be one of that 5%.

-Yuuka

Crack and Break Help.

Okay, a close friend of mine, Sam (who is a girl), has officially broken down and hidden away from the rest of the world. I know for a fact she "reassured" several of both of our friends a few days earlier that she would not break down. But the thing is that she did.

I guess i should start from the beginning. From the very beginning. Okay the first problem had been one ever since she was a baby. Her father. Her parents have never and will never officially be together. They were never married but they had her. And her father used -well, most likely still is- an alcholic. So with that she has seen many rather painful things. And 99.99% of that is in her past. If someone brings him up she can get emotional, or she keeps everything hidden and locked up inside. On to problem number two, she had been very close to a friend who in my own words, likes to wallow in self pity. And they both had a rather tight grip on each other. but she's cooping and moving on. Now, a lot of times she might act unfeeling about this person but the truth is, Sam couldn't hate her arch nemeses. She will care and love perfect strangers. But with that comes the third problem. The way that she cares about people is a double edged sword. It can help others so much, but at what cost? She is willing to sacrifice her life, her will, her freedom, if she could just see people smile, and laugh. She would do anything to have others happy. Even if it meant giving up her own happiness.

Now lets come to how it happened. She was on the phone, talking leisurely about things like Naruto and such. When they wandered onto some not so happy and relaxed topics. See, the thing with same is that she wants to make up for others mistakes. Her father would judge and hate a perfect stranger, for no reason. She wanted to be caring in ways that he couldn't be. Then, the friend, who likes to wallow in self pity, they had talked about Sam leaving the relationship. Sam described how the girl who wallows in self pity doesn't see how she affects people around her. How her problems, her "only choices" make others so frustrated. Thats when it started. Sam hates that she can care sooo much about other people. She hates that she allows perfect strangers to reach in and grab her heart. She hates the fact that no matter what she does that there are people who are out of her range to help. She hates it. But she, from a little girl wanted to care for people the way others can't. She wanted to help people that others would just ignore. She wants to stand up for people who don't yet know how to stand up for themselves.

Honestly, to me, she is like peoples knight in shining armor. She will fight and protect when ever she feels necessary. So at the end of their conversation, she cried. And just cried and cried till no more tears to come out. when that happened she hid away. She hid in the deepest darkest crevice she could find. So I need advice. How can I get her out of her hole?

And just so that you know, I am not putting them blame on the people I mentioned. that is just something that helped her armor crack more than needed. Please, comment here with your advice. We both need all the help we can get.

Sincerely yours,
Yuuka

New Blog

Okay, just saying this so that you guys (not that your all men) stay informed. I have now written a new blog just for my writing. So now, if you want to read or critize you can go there and check it out. And since I'm feeling really lazy, go to my profile and the link will be there. And yea thats really it.

-Yuuka

I am over tired and drained. Why? I dont know. I was "Sleeping". All day. I hate this feeling. It seems like somethings not right. Maybe its just my paranoia but, I don't think so. It feels as if somethings about to go very wrong. I guess I really shouldn't dwell on this but the last time this happened. I was restless and my grandfather died. I need a book. . . . . . . .

Amarante/Yuuki, Ktaro/Harue- Keep and eye out on things for me. If something werid happens tell me. I don't feel paticularly secure at the moment. This is just a warining. Just stay alert.

~Yuuka

Story Start?. . . . Maybe

Okay, this is something I've had written in one of my thousands of books. I'm thinking of making it the start of a story. . . . .not too sure yet.

-Love
My body is shaking as my heart rips in two. It urns for the happiness that both of us seem to crave. I not only betrayed you but I betrayed all that I stood for. I had betrayed all that I wanted to become. I ruined everything. I, the stupid cowardly fool, destroyed everything. Everything I stood for. Everything I wanted to be. Not only that but I destroyed the thing most precious to me. You. I killed everything you thought of me, everythign you thought I had become. I am worthless. I deserve nothing that you had given me. I deserve nothing. I am nothing. I dont want to be anything anymore. I dont want to be something that people care about. I dont deserve it. I deserve to be trash. I am trash. People should just throw me away, and not even look at me. Just put me in the garbage were I belong. I am a stupid, worthless, lieing and deciving piece of trash. I dont deserve you. I dont deserve what I have. I dont deserve what I abuse. I belong in a ccage with a chain around my neck. I have told myself this so many times. I told myself how much I dont deserve this, deserve you. I wish I didnt exist. Because if I didnt you wouldn't have to go through so much pain. I wish you didnt have to put up with my selfish, lieing me. I wish I could disappear. I wish I could me earased from peopels lives. I wish I could just fade away.. I wish I could be more than what I really am. I wish I was who I always wished I would be. I wish I was able to slip through my cracking insanity.
-Hate

Okay thats it. I'm not sure what it should be about but I have some Ideas. I want more of them from whoevers reading!!!!!!!! So please express your opinion, good or bad. And please dont copy it and say its yours.

-Yuuka

I haven't recieved any hate mail which is a very good thing. And i went over to a friends house and got some alone time outside. All in all today was a pretty good day. Nothing much to report, hopefully tomorrow will be just as interesting.

-Yuuka

Breaking ties

A friendship that I have once cherished dearly has come to a close, by my hand. The girl had, had a strong grip on my heart for a long time. Maybe it was because I wanted to help her, to see her smile. I dont know. But I have found that I am now no longer able to take what she does to herself. She cares too much about her "Rank". she belittles herself and refuses to except a compliment. She refuses to acknowledge those around her that are willing to help. And I was one of those people.

I had tried to be there for her. Tryed to make her happy but nothing worked. all I had been getting from the relationship was pain. And to be honest I have been through enough pain in my life. I dont what to go through what I've gone through again.

So i broke my ties with her. And I did it for me. We will probably never speak again, and I'm surprisingly okay with that. I'm in pain, yeah, but I just left some of my baggage behind, on my road.

If anyone needs help with anything. Or if you just want to talk. Tell me. I'll be there and I'll listen.

-Yuuka

Just remembered. . . . . .i officially have no spring concert. That is really really REALLY annoying. I'm in dance and we were supposed to be preforming and what-not. Oh, welll. And along with this, this friday I will be at my elemetary schools carinival. Whoopy! Not. *Sigh* Oh well. I guess thats it for now.

Yuuka

P.S. I am officially bored out of my mind

H1M1 aka Swine flu

Just yesterday my school has officially closed for a week because 27 students came down with "flu like" symtoms. So I am now officially online 24/7 for the next couple of days. So I will probably have a large erratic number of posts. . . . . . oh, and I dont usually post on the weekend.

-Yuuka

Lost

I am now lost beyond any ones control. . . . . . . .I guess I knew this for a long time, but I was too scared to admit it.

I lost myself, in everything. In all the lies I told, in all the pain I cause in all the stuff I dream. I don't understand anything, anymore. When I was younger, I was so sure of myself, so strong. But as Time and Reality seeped into my life I slowly started losing myself. I don't understand society, we bound ourselves by so many laws we wind up losing our individuality in order to fit in. I don't understand the laws of reality. Why can there only be this one world? Why can there only be this one dimensional plane?

I don't know what to believe in. I have seen things, with my own two eyes that I cannot explain. I have done things, with my two hands that are too gruesome to recall. I have thought things that no person should think of doing.

I lost myself in all that I want to be true. All that I want to happen. All that I am willing to open my mind, my eyes and my heart to. I lost myself within the laws that govern our society. I lost myself in the laws that govern reality.

Now all I can do is wait and wander. I can only wait, and hunt, to try and find myself. My pieces are scattered, they are tiny and beyond recognition. will you be so kind to help me look for them?

-Yuuka

Wishing

There are so many things that people wish for. But, why do we? Why is that, when we were younger everyone told us, if you wish upon a shooting star your dreams come true? Do they do it to preserve our naivety? Do they do it so that we learn to hope? So that we learn to dream, no matter how impossible or strange the dream may seem?

I dont know the answer. But the interesting thing is, that now that I'm older I know a lot of my wishes wont come true. And yet I still wish, I still dream for the impossible to happen. Its' weird, I think, that all of my silly hopes and dreams are still here inside me.

I guess a lot of us wish things because we want to better our lives. Or maybe even better someone else's. Maybe. . . . . . . .Or maybe we wish because we are selfish. Because we want things that we cant have. Maybe its because our imagination, if you let it, tells you anything can happen. Even its the craziest thing in the world.

As a child I used to wish for the most selfish of things. I used to dream that one day I would be the best, and the prettiest and the smartest. Then a year or so later I realized that I will never become the prettiest or the most powerful or the smartest. There are always things out there that are larger than I am. Maybe I realized this earlier than most because of the house hold I live in. . . . . . .But thats what I learned.

I think that every girl, boy, man and woman deserrves the chance to wish, to dream, to feel free. Even for a little while. Even if its just and escape from reality before it comes crashing down on you. Thats what I did. Though, i am now so caught up in my dreams, I really do wish it was real. Even when I know it most likely will never happen.

All the same, I will keep wishing. I will keep dreaming. I will keep drifting off into my own imagination even if its just for a moment, so that I can escape from this harsh and cold reality.

Tired

It's Yuuka. . . . . . Today just did not go as fast as I wanted it to. We had two long periods of english. In which I had to work in a group who couldnt seem to agree on anything. Then S.S., where it totally slipped my mind that we had this test, quiz, thing. Then Math, one of the most annoying subjects of all time. Next we had Science, dun,dun, dun . . . . . . We reviewed over a test we took yesterday. I am not commenting about the test. Finally the period before lunch, Spansih. It's not bad, it's just very boring to me. Then, when I think I have a free period to ewt relax and talk to friends its taken away. Instead we had to practice for the Arista ceremony, ugh. Last period was Math again. Finally the day came to a close with me beating a friend in chess.

I know to some people it might not seem long but today I was all over the place. I was a period ahead of my schedule which made it drag on even longer. And now I have a headache. Ugh. What ever. This post is just about bitching (sorry about the language) and complaining about today.

Sorry to disappoint,
Yuuka

Annoyance. . . . .To me at least

Okay, so heres the thing. There's Yuuka and then there's me, Kimi. I like Yuuka is part wolf. . . . SO I have officially been kicked out since Yuuka has been having some problems. Which can be exteremly annoying.

Here's the problem. . . . . .She will try and kill me later for saying this, but, shes scared. She lacks the courage to speak her mind. She lacks the courage to tell people how shes really feeling. For example, just today, on a group project she went from calm to livid because everyone was changing everything when it had already been decided on. I could tell that she was ready to burst, and she should of. . . . . . .well, maybe just a little bit. But instead she put herself through stress and grinned and bared it.

Yuuka is the kind of person who cares for all people. And I mean EVERYONE, if a stranger-no bigger than that- if her arch enemy had been run over by a car, she would run out in the middle of traffic to save them. Seriously, she really would. I on the other hand. . . . . . . Well lets not go into want I would do. . . . . . Anyway, Yuuka has undeniable strength inside her, she just lacks the courage to use it.

Here's were it comes to the annoying part. She made me stay afterschool, in dance class!!!! Okay, it might not seem bad, but I DO NOT dance. . . . . not often anyway. And then later she force me to SING in front of people. I know and I'm sorry if it doesnt mean that much to others but I am known for not singing in front of people. And I am also known for not taking orders from anyone. It's probably because at the moment, she has a lot more control than I do. . . . . . Whatever.

And to Ama, Haru, Yuuki and Ktaro- look out for her. Yuuki and Ktaro, you both know her better than I do. Make sure she knows that you'll be there if she falls. And Ama, Haru, dont you dare try anything just because I am acting "soft". If you do I will personally beat the crap out of you.

Heyllo

Hey, to all those people that actually follow Me and Miyoko's blog I am sorry that I hadnt posted for a while. I have an excuse though!!!!!!!! I was grounded for a month, I dont know what Miyoko's excuse was though.

Anyway. . . . . . . . I have a secret to tell you people. . . . . . . . I am actually part wolf. Okay, well, maybe its not exactly a secret anymore but I felt like telling you guys this. And.. . . . . . I think thats it. . . . . . .

Yep, thats it for today. Miyoko might post today, but I'm not sure. . . . . . . . Anyway, Ima go now. Bye!