Speachless

Hey, It's Yuuka. And I am officially speechless. Why? Because it seems that some people can be so determined that they underestimate a persons will.

It infuriates me that someone would think that after I end something, they refuse to except my position and choice that I made. And you see, I firmly closed that door with lock and key but this person still trys to reopen it. With absolutely no concern about who she (whoops, oh well,) hurts while doing so.

If you want the full story, here it is. A friendship formed between me and this person. And at first, it was fun. but as time went on I realized that I was starting to be tossed around like a rag doll or some toy. And one day, this person, decides to become mute. Not to everyone just me. I said Hi and She gave me a look. A look. thats it, no response at all. And it hurt, badly. If your close friend suddenly wouldnt say a word around you how would that make you feel? And this went on for a while. And pretty much every night i would come home and cry because I was so upset. Because dispite my efforts to be nice, have fun around that person, and make them smile, all I would get was pain. And so I though, you know what I'm ready to move on. and I started to. When she decided she wanted me back. You know what the excuse was? "I dont want it to hurt a lot when we graduate." that was their reason. And was I heard that I nearly cried, right then and there. then I explained that they just caused me so much pain. And they apologized and that was enough for me. I tried again. And around 2 weeks ago, we were talking on aim, I said that she was being a hypocrite, and she flipped out on me. And cursed at me. I mean, even I can fully admit to being a hypocrite. So this time I closed the door for real. Immediately after she cursed she signed off. so I emailed her saying that I wont be treated like that anymore. And I'm done with dealing with her.

That was when I was done. Here's what happened next. She sent me an email apologizing. Saying that she was over reacting. I didnt reply. Later her friend sent me an email that showed me her "Choices." It was either run away. Or stay. And this is when I sent her a message that said If you runaway then she would be dead to me. And I know that is not the nicest of things to say but it's true. You cant run away from your problems. they will come back and haunt you. So, she sent me an email saying how I wasnt supposed to find out and that crap. And once again, more excuses. And I replied saying that I no longer care about what she does, or what her choices are. I'm done. I'm done with you and all the pain you caused me. I said I was finished.

So school rolls around and I have "friendly" conversations with her. Mainly because I didnt need the whole world to know my business. And she decides to call me yesterday, and say that shes sorry for everything shes put me through. And she thanked me for being there for her. Saying that she loved me and I was her best friend. She also said that she understood that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore, "But I wont except that." And it left me in an angered speechless moment.

So that is why I'm pissed and I'm not so speechless anymore. If the person I'm talking about is reading this, know that no matter what you say or do, the friendship that we once shared is done. I closed that door. And it will not be reopened.

From,
A not so speechless Yuuka